.

Monte:

Hello Blanket Lovers!! I’m happy to see you’ve returned…hopefully to purchase a blanket or two for your best friend. I am currently sitting on top of one as I speak. Woof! Good boy.

Now that life has returned back to normal, by that I mean, no more shaking floors, and psychotic little white dogs named Mollee running around in the middle of the night trying to imitate earthquakes, I’d like to catch up.

I really appreciated the concerned calls about my well being..so to speak…Woof! Good boy. Right after the earthquake, I did kind of have a little breakdown. Nothing that some R and R didn’t cure, it was just a little traumatic. I have since studied everything I could on the earthquake phenomena and learned some helpful tips on surviving them. I will be prepared for the next one, I look at it as a learning experience. It helped me grow.

Mollee and I have resumed our spelling studies; she is coming along quite well. I am actually very proud of her determination. Every night she stays up into the wee hours on the computer, must be trying to get in some extra study time. She’s even been sick for a couple of days, but she is still hard at work..what a champ, I’ll make sure Mommy gives her a special treat.

So, I would like your help…I’ve been kicking around an idea for a couple of weeks now and I feel like I am ready to share it with everyone. I want to become a stand-up comedian. I know I can do it…I really feel like I’ve got what it takes, my deliveries are spot on, here it goes…A dog with his foot wrapped in a bloody bandage hobbles into a Western saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I’m lookin’ fer the man that shot my paw.”

Well??…. What do you think, I’ve got a million more. Ohh…It’s time for my walk….I see Mommy grabbing my leash. Leave me a message, I will answer them all. Thanks for your help.

My very best to you and yours,

Monte the First, Esq.

P.S. Did you laugh? Not that I’m being overly sensitive about this…you know, I just wanted to know for research purposes.

Mollee:

OMG!!!!! I didn’t think he wuuuz ever gonna shut up….I’ve been burstin at the seams….You are NEVER gonna guess what happened!! Phew…deep breath…I am SO excited!!!

AHH……I’ve got a boyfriend!!!

He totally sent me a picture last nite…he’s soooo dreamy. His name is Jose…and he lives in Florida…..that is so kewl!!

Oooh..by the way, I wanted to totally clear up something Mommy said earlier…..I don’t really have the poops…Gross…I just pretended to be sik so Mommy would give me the pepto bizmo…see, I kinda fibbed to Jose and said I was a total punk rocker…and that I have pink highlights in my hair….I figured Mommy wouldn’t let me do that…so I did the next best think and made a mess when she was giving me the pink stuff….Viola…pink fur highlights.

So yeah…me and Jose talk on the computer all night long….he’s so sofistikated. He uses really big words…he says his Mom is a genius and she teaches him a lot. She sounds like a totally kewl person. I’m gonna talk to him again tonight..I’ll let you know what goes on….he’s terriff!!!

Soooo….what do you guys think of Montee’s comedian abilities??? Whats he tryin to be, the next Monty Hall……more like Montee Stall….his delivery is so slow…kinda like the walk he’s taking with Mommy, has to be slow so he can keep up.

Bada boom bada bing…..I’m the comedian of this family, you can’t touch this….

I’m Mollee!!!!

Mollee Writes:

Sooper kewl!!! I wanna go agin..I wanna go agin…Mom, can I go agin??? Today wuz FUN!! Not only did the howse shake, rattle and roll…Mommie played chase with us!!

Pikture it…Manhattan Beach..today…there wuz an earthquake!! Yeah baby!! All the sudden during my spelling lessun, the howse started to move, alot! I wuz like whats goin on, Mom was like OMG!!, Montee wuz like AHHHH!! They freeked out! Monte took off down the hall, so I wuz like ok, lets chase eech other, sweet!

Next thing I know, Mom is rite there trying to scoop us up, I wuz like, hey…its chase time…you can’t catch me!! Thats when Monte dropped to the flore, hugging it like it wuz his teddy bear or somethin…lozer…got us caught.

So now I gotta sit on the bed, Mom checkin us out, saying, oh babies are you ok?? No I’m not ok, I’m darned mad, I wanted to play and now I gotta be babied, waa waa…do you see a bottle hangin frum my mouth? No, cuz I’m a big gurl!!

Speakin of big…hehe…See it wiggle, see it jiggle, Monte’s BIG OLE’ BUTT!! See, I can say that rite now cuz uber-lozer had to have a sedative, hiz nerves were frayed…thats what Mommie said to Daddy…Puu-leez….I don’t know what that means but its gotta be something I should make fun of.

Tonight when everybody is sleepin, I’m gonna sneek up to Monte’s bed and shake it reel fast and screem in hiz ear….he’s gonna wet himself….gosh, I might wet myself…totally worth it..that is funn-E stuff!! Thats what he gets for getin us caught. I can’t wait for bed time.

Jeez Peeps…this haz been fun…a really terrific day might I say…I’m a poet and you didn’t know it..till now.. and Monte is still a fat-cow. Gotta go, this is Mollee, wishing you all sweet dreams… Na-na-naa-na, hey hey hey, Goodbye!
Mollee

Monte

Hi there folks!! Thank you for coming to visit with us, take time to browse around and if you see anything you like, uhh just whistle, I’ll come running. Sooo thank you for shopping at Kids In Fur Coats, I’ll just be right over…. there. Take your time.
Woof, Woof, Woof!! Sorry, I forgot, every time I hear a whistle I have this irresistible urge to bark. I’ll work on that, so if you need anything else perhaps you could just say “Excuse me Monte, I need help.” That might work a little better.

Mollee

Gosh Monte…ur pesterin them, let them shop and leeve them uhlone. Mom sed we cood talk uhbout us. Her job iz the blankets…hi peeps, this iz Mollee….I have stile, I have flare, thats why they call, me…… MOLLEE!!

Monte

Let me properly introduce ourselves, I am Monte, a Maltese of exquisite beauty (in a totally manly way) with fur as white as the morning snow, eyes that are more soulful than a James Brown tune, a butt that is just so cute it needs to be in pictures, and yes, little old ladies have been known to pinch these adorable cheeks as I swagger by…but I digress, I am a humble dog.

This ragamuffin to my left is Mollee, she is also an enchanting little Maltese. However, I feel the need to let you know that her spelling is horrible, so I shall try to control the keyboard, occasionally she is able to muscle her way in so hopefully if you can sound her words out, some of it will make sense. This little scamp hasn’t reached her first birthday, so I’ll cut her some slack. I’ll be tutoring her on Mondays and Fridays, so I am confident in the future she will master the English language as I have. My little protege so to speak.
Uh-Oh….My friends, I apologize, my keen ears have just detected the sounds of approaching trouble, I need to investigate this nuisance…………

BRB……………..

Okay, mission accomplished; I had to hide Mommy’s remote while Mollee distracted her (we’re good that way). I was right about the approaching trouble……grrrrr….Caesar, otherwise known as the Dog Whisperer…I have something I would like to whisper in his SHOE…grrrr…woof, he gets my fur up.

I realize that he may work miracles with every dog he comes into contact with, but come on folks, do they really need to show like fifteen episodes a day?? Do you even know how hard it is to keep our Mommy’s attention that long and I’m running out of hiding spots for that pesky remote. We have our Mom trained the way we like it; he does not need to come in and ruin my hard work. I think I might chew up the cable bill….that way no more Caesar. Brilliant….actually…… I shall have Mollee do it. My little minion so to speak.

So this has been nice, I hope that we can get acquainted over time, I shall write often, I do love to type…wears down my nails some. I will even let Mollee write, even though her spelling is abominable….maybe we can make fun of her behind her back???? Good-bye, Adios, Ciao, Arrivaderci, Hasta la vista. Lights out.

Yours Truly,
Monte

…oh yeah, and Mollee

P.S. MONTE ETES KAT POOP…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, thats why they call…….me Mollee!

My two Maltese dogs, as fully involved employees (actually, owners) of Kids in Fur Coats told me to make room on my website for their very own blog. Since I’d be lost without their field-testing and encouragement, I hastened to do their bidding.

So, Monte and Mollee sit now sit at my computer (while I slave away sewing in the craft room) and write about their lives, and the trials/tribulations/etc of being dogs. Poor them. It must be so hard to be completely pampered pooches in Southern California.

Their posts are found here, in the Monte and Mollee Blog archive.